Still jobless, still not that bothered

I have a folder on my laptop where I keep all of my job applications and cover letters. I do this so I can recycle parts of cover letters - although I wonder if anyone reads them - and also as proof that I am job-hunting. The folks at Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) encourage job-seekers to keep track of all job applications so we can prove we're not sitting at home watching daytime television while claiming benefit payments.

While I've applied for lots of jobs in Illinois and Ohio - mostly Chicago and Columbus, although there have been a few appealing jobs in Cincinnati - I have only had a couple of online interviews. I eventually decided to look locally since the unemployment payments won't last much longer, and am shortlisted for a copywriter job at yet another mortgage lender. There should be a third interview next week. While I can't get too excited about it (the pay they've mentioned is awful), I'm hoping it will make me more attractive to other potential employers. 

Ian* has been in a much more attentive mood since he left LaGuardia for Buffalo's airport. I am tentatively planning to visit him later this month for a few days, as he's been asking me to do so since January.

Sometime I worry about this, as he seems keen to renew a physical relationship and I don't see this happening. It's been too long since we've seen each other, and the last time we were together he had no real interest in sex. I'm well-aware that he was overworked and miserable during his time at LaGuardia, but he still chose not to see me for a couple of years. And I am still hopeful about Cincinnati*, although part of me is thinking that he may prefer fantasy to reality. 

If no job eventuates this month, I am going to spend a week or two in Columbus, Ohio or Chicago. I stink at networking so I better figure something out before I depart, but sitting here isn't getting me another job, and I'm just about ready to go back to work.

* See The Usual Suspects.

unapologetic slacking and a tardy road trip

After having applied for lots and lots of jobs, but having had zero luck landing any sort of work - including contract/freelance - I'm beginning to think that my age really does matter after all. But I'm still not panicking just yet, I've only gone through two-thirds of my unemployment payments. And I've actually found two recruiters who seem to know what they're doing. So many of them simply gather resumes, throw them at HR departments (who are usually equally clueless), and hope one sticks. These two are actually doing the research.

Two weeks ago I took my drive to Tennessee to visit my aunt. She lost her oldest son (my cousin) unexpectedly last year to a brain hemorrhage, and her second husband is now in hospice. But she freely admits she's depressed, and we had quite a few adult conversations. One thing that surprised me is what she told me about my parents; namely that my mother's sisters were all quite angry when my father forced her to go from full-time mom to full-time store clerk. I was finally able to admit after decades that it had made me angry as well.

I'm kind of tempted to move near her, as her bird feeders have an incredible variety of visitors and the mountains are beautiful. I took my bicycle and was embarrassed to find myself walking up hills a good part of the time. Sometimes I think that a job with little responsibility would result in a more relaxed life. Starbucks always wants help.

Cincinnati* is still talking of my next visit - namely all the semi-naughty things he wants to do, and that I want him to do as well. But he's having some odd health problems (headaches and vertigo). The cause of all this is still not diagnosed. So I'm fine with waiting a while longer, especially as I need to lose about 15 more pounds.

* See The Usual Suspects.

was it something I tested?

I received the usual polite "no thank you" a couple of days after last week's interview. While I never thought it was a done deal, I couldn't help but wonder why. The pre-interview tests I took are especially worrying as I have no idea how I scored, and I don't think personality tests guarantee better hires. For example, one company decided to give their top brass the same personality tests as they gave interviewees, and the results suggested that about two thirds of their senior executives weren't suited for their jobs.

But then I had another look at the agency's client list, and Wonderlic was a client. Ack.

I have thought about asking for my Wonderlic/Wonscore results but I'm betting the rent they won't hand them over.

On the other hand, I finally wound up my romance scammer fun yesterday. I led him on a merry chase which include a confession of certain faux medical problems. I told him I suffered from explosive diarrhea and he was no less ardent. Even after he was kicked off Facebook he persisted, so after I told him I was about to send him my contact details, I instead let him have it.

The real kicker? He still insisted he was the American colonel whose photos he'd stolen, although he kept saying he was a general, not a colonel. 

Here's his reply, copied and pasted.

"thank you so much for calling me a scammer..you can you call someone such name you are not God and one thing you don`t know is that one day you will live this earth with nothing and go back to where you belong because nobody will leave on this earth forever..thank you so much and God bless you"

I decided to send him a link to an article about the person whose photos he'd stolen - seems a lot of scammers have "recycled" retired Tristan Siegel's photo. But even this didn't faze him. His reply:

"how do you exact someone like me to be a scammer"

Although I didn't answer this one, he waited about 20 minutes before sending this last missive.

"only God knows that am not what you think"

So is he saying that God is okay with bad scammers? 

lights, camera, interview

Even though I am not being drowned with job offers, I just had a video interview with a place I really liked. The agency is near Chicago and only handles business-to-business marketing clients. 

Preliminary interviews aren't done over the phone any more, as we've moved up to video. Although I worried about how I would look, I preferred it to the one-dimensional phone chat. 

I think it went fairly well. I read big chunks of the company's blog, checked out their work, and wrote myself a list of reasons why I wanted the job. And I confess I checked out my interviewer's social media and saw that she was big into animal rescue, so I made sure to mention my rescue volunteerism that at the end of the interview. She admitted she could talk rescue all day. 

The one thing I'm fretting about is the online test I had to take beforehand. There were two, actually: one was sort of like an IQ test, and the other was more of a personality test. I hate these but I still took them. I hope I don't score as a sociopath. 

romance scammer, see me after class

Facebook scammers approach me now and then, especially the romantic ones. Usually I flip them off, but sometimes I can't help but lead them on for a week or two before ghosting them. The way I see it, the more time of theirs I can waste, the less time they'll have hunting for gullible victims.

The main reason I decided to play along with my recent acquisition is that he's the rankest of rank amateurs. He's recycling a lame scam - swiping photos of US military personnel, and then weaving a story of loneliness and widowhood. Best of all, he is clueless about choosing a fake name. He is using an Indian name, but claiming to be a retired Army colonel.

Here's a taste of his messages to me. Enjoy the spelling.

"Hello my dearest, thanks a lot my dear for your massage, anyway how is your family? and always forgive me of my late reply of your massage because my work is a very busy one. It is my pleasure having you as my friend, knowing one another is a gradual process and here are few things I think you should know about me.[ACTIVE DUTY FULL TIME] I love meeting people, reading, traveling too!! And also sharing ideas, I am lovely, caring, adoring, passionate, compassionate, affectionate, cheerful, faithful, loyal, truthful, honest, God fearing, good heart, trustworthy and trusting."

After a few days he put things into high gear. This shifted my amusement levels to high gear. 

"I sincerely want to tell you that since I see your picture in the face book my heart never go out from you and it may be crazy to tell you this but honestly I think I am in love with you and would want to have you as my wife because I needed somebody to be around me now when I resign from this job. Please let me know if you will be ready to spend the rest of your life with me and if you think it cannot work for us that will not be any problem we can just be very close friends okay. I wait for your reply; Take care and God bless you Honey...."

This cretin believes that I'm buying into this rubbish - he cranks out more romantic messages every day. I admit I am encouraging him by saying I've inherited a vast sum of money, and would like him to help me invest it. So far he hasn't tried to get any financial information out of me, but let's give him some time.

It's also fun to ask him questions that a genuine member of the US military could immediately answer, but he can't. Either he makes shit up - thinking I won't know any better - or Googles it. 

Here's an example. I suggested we video chat and here's his excuse why we cannot do this.

"honey one of my soldier was shot so we have to take proper investigation over that before something terrible happen more in war zone we don`t make calls , video calls, or anything communication out of our work i so much love you sincerely that was why i declared my interest in spending the rest of my life with you .. We only use U.S radio to communicate but as a high rank general i was given the privilege to chat you on mail as my new wife as i have signed that i have gotten a wife and i can only message you here till on out from this zone.. voice call video call is out of our rules in war zone honey so please understand me my one and only God sent future wife.honey i promise to call you as soon as am out from this zone you are my queen i love you with all my heart"

His other inconsistencies are stacking up quickly. He already considers us married (???) and he can't seem to understand that Afghanistan and Syria are not the same country.

If anyone has any suggestions how I can fuck with him even more, just leave a comment. I'd like to spin this along for as long as possible, or until I get bored with it. And I'm already savoring the day I tell him what a crap scammer he is.