Yesterday there was yet another baby shower at the office. While I don't mind them, I sometimes try to add up how many baby gifts I've purchased over the past 20 or 30 years. It will never be my turn to cash in, but considering my age, temperament and inability to stay home with a baby, this is not anything keeping me awake at night.
After gifts were opened and we all played a repulsive "identify the baby food" game, the conversation turned to future plans. A couple of the young unmarrieds decided to interrogate the marrieds about plighting one's troth. What they should keep in mind when choosing a future spouse? I usually keep quiet during these conversations and yesterday was no different, until someone asked me point-blank if I would ever consider getting married again.
My initial answer is always a flat no, and I explain that I can't see the point at my age, and I don't have much to offer a husband as I'm not wealthy and have certain eccentricities.
Perhaps my subconscious disagreed with all this, as last night I had quite a long dream about getting married. John Savelle* traveled from the UK and unexpectedly showed up in Texas, determined to talk me into it. He was wearing a very nice tweedy suit, and of course we all looked much younger. I was living with my mother in a smallish house that had never existed in real time. And she was much younger too.
She was happy to learn of his proposal and although I don't remind me ever accepting it, we eventually went out to find a place to live. I was intrigued that John had flown to Texas from the UK without contacting me first, and hadn't any problem locating me although we hadn't been in contact for a long time. He just shrugged and said "it's easy when you want to know".
But then I was watching Netflix last night and spotted the perfect husband for me: Gomez Addams.
Think about it. He has a libido that never naps. Nothing ever upsets him, even when his children throw their new sibling off the roof. He likes to blow up things. He's not big on housekeeping either.
The more I think about this, the more sense it makes. Even if I were just dating him, I could take up fencing again and get free lessons.
* See The Usual Suspects.