Key to Characters update

It's all still pretty accurate, except that Daniel is leaning more towards Anglicanism these days.

a faster way to waste time

I'm still trying to figure out how to put this in the sidebar, but this will have to do for now.

that sinking feeling

I'm fairly sure I have, in the past, described my penchant for sex outside the bedroom. I still fantasise about doing naughty things in executive suites and such, and still remember making out with OOD* on a leather sofa with much damp fondness.

Recently I discovered that the relative comfort of bedroom sex can also be challenging. This is because Daniel* has one of those Tempur-Pedic memory foam beds.

While these beds are quite comfortable for sleeping, they are not comfortable for fucking. It's like trying to do The Wild Thing in a pit of quicksand. No matter which position you spring for, parts of you will keep gradually sinking into the bed. The inane Yahoo news even picked this up recently.

Over the past months, we've discovered that the only approach that can work reasonably well in a Tempur-Pedic environment is if I get on top. Still, my knees (and the rest of me) often sink lower than we'd like after a couple of minutes. 

The only other option at Daniel's place is to move the party to the floor, which is carpeted. Unfortunately, this sometimes cranks up my asthma. The sofa is simply too small for us, especially since he's 6' 2". 

I suppose I should just count my blessings and be glad that water beds aren't around much any more. Has any reader attempted sex on one of those? I hear it's a Surf's Up, Dude type of experience.

* See Key to Characters at right.

what, me worry?

Even though I didn't expect to land a job that quickly, I'm beginning to feel like a leper. None of my applications for jobs are getting any attention, even though I've been careful to only apply for jobs that required my background.

One headhunter friend was blunt about the main reason behind this failure: "You're too old to be doing what you're doing." While I don't think 100% of potential employers are going to view this as problematic, enough of them do. Especially those who manage hiring for advertising agencies.

I thought I would be able to cope reasonably well with this reality, but part of me is already planning to sell my surplus possessions, short-sell my house and find a cheap duplex to rent.  Downsizing would make my life a lot simpler. 

adultery and creature comforts

Even though I can't say I didn't enjoy my trysts with married men, a small part of me always wondered about their initial motivation. How did they get from thinking about adultery to actually doing something about it?

Were they just bored, or not getting as much sex as they would like? Secretly angry with the wife? Regretting their marriages, but convinced they couldn't afford divorce?

It looks like I was on the wrong path most of the time.

Last night I read an interview with a sex therapist with some refreshingly simple views on the causes of adultery.  Herewith an excerpt:

"I went to sex therapist Ian Kerner with the question of how one can tell the difference between a relationship that is hopelessly sexually mismatched and one that can become sexually compatible and satisfying with work. He said that there are two types of people: “thrill-seekers and comfort creatures.”

This is a broad generalization, sure, but it can be useful to spark discussion around a tricky topic, he says. “Thrill seekers often crave a high degree of novelty and tend to get bored rather quickly, while comfort creatures believe that less is more and enjoy the familiarity of a sexual routine,” Kerner explains. “Part of the problem is that in the early stage of a relationship, the infatuation of falling in love provides a level of excitement that often masks real differences in our sexual types.”

Once you split up your adulterers into two possible types - thrill-seekers or comfort creatures - it's pretty easy to identify them.

My only unanswered question is:  How I would identify myself?