The year of the dragon (almost)

For reasons unknown, I have a hunch that 2024 will somewhat be a better year than the last. Perhaps it's waning inflation, or the fact that I finally paid off my truck and have an extra $300 each month. And I actually won a Performance Award at work last month, complete with $100 Target gift card.

The Year of the Dragon doesn't begin until February, but I tend to feel its importance as it was when I lived in Hong Kong. Those born in this year, aka Dragon babies, really do tend to be more successful.

I've finally made some genuine moves to tackle the loneliness I feel. I began to attend a meditation group that meets Thursday evenings, and am in the middle of signing up for volunteering at a local hospice. I still remember visiting my mother during the last months of her life, and noticing that more than a few others seemed to have no contact with relatives or anyone else. Dying lonely seems particularly sad to me.

I traveled to Texas last October and brought back a friend for Loretta. Otto and Loretta enjoyed playing (more like play-fighting) during my time in Texas in 2022-2023, and she actually seemed lonely after Buddy's death, although they were never friends. Buddy had only recentlly allowed her to sleep on my bed at the same time as himself. While it's generally worked out, I do get annoyed as Otto is always stealing Loretta's treats, and he likes to get into any kitchen cabinet if the door isn't completely shut. 

Here's an amusing video of the two of them alternately washing and biting each other. 

While Reed and I finally went to his new hunt club, hunted, and actually shot a deer (he did, not me), it's also become a source of unhappiness for me. I feel that my ability to visit the hunt club was badly mis-represented. He recently admitted that the hunting license he had purchased for. me "didn't go through", so I have no license, and there are other reasons why I may or may not accompany him in the future. This made me feel as if he were so enthusiastic about my joining him, that he didn't check into the various rules. And I don't think he realized how much I was looking forward to this. I had been busily shopping for hunting kit and even considering a new .243 Winchester rifle, as he considers my borrowed 30.06 Gamemaster to be a "bazooka". (He's actually correct - a 30.06 round brings a deer down quickly but tends to destroy a lot of edible venison at the same time.)

I did bring up my concerns to him last night. While he asked me to wait until he had everything sorted out, I'm still not happy about the situation. Combined with the fact that he will spend most of February skiing in Montana, I'm beginning to think if I should let him go and find someone who has more time to spend with me. But this would be so difficult. I love him very much. But that doesn't mean it's all going to work out in the long run; it rarely does.