oh feck!

Have just been informed that the Tubby Dwarf* and her semi-illiterate suckup of a writer will be visiting my office next week. Should I bring my shuriken to the office that day?

* See Key to Characters at right.

bring out the gimp*

During Monday night's shaolin class, I made the mistake of underestimating an opponent. It wasn't like we were sparring; instead, we were doing one of those deceptively simple exercises that illustrate any weaknesses in your basic stances.

It was one of the many things we do in pairs - we would face each other in the ready stance and then both parties attempt to push the other backwards. Shoulder to shoulder contact is allowed.

Since I was initially paired up with a small, underweight female, I thought I could easily push her all over the place. But she caught me unawares. While she didn't manage to get me to the wall, I managed to sprain my left ankle as I wasn't in a proper ready stance, and my foot wasn't turned in the right direction. It made a horrid little crunchy noise.

Two days later I'm still limping around. The oddest thing about a sprained ankle is that, although you would think it would bother you the least in the morning, it's the time of day that mine bothers me the most.

Perhaps I should get a cane and walk around the office like Dr. House.

* Infamous line from the movie Pulp Fiction. No, you don't need to wake me up.

How to do a Reginald Perrin in the electronic age

When I lived overseas, one of my favorite shows was The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin. The title character, played brilliantly by Leonard Rossiter, decides that he doesn't want to spend his life commuting to his middle-management job at Sunshine Desserts. So one afternoon, he disappears.

It was so easy for Reggie Perrin - he just dumped his clothes on the beach and swam away. But this was back in the good old 1970s. Try disappearing in today's technical age.

I recently picked up the books that were the inspiration for the television series at Half Price Books. While reading them I began to wonder if it were still possible to really disappear. Forever, not like those half-wits who show up on America's Most Wanted.

This Web site has a few tips. It's interesting reading.

Weekend

I am in the mood for a serious house cleaning/decluttering frenzy. Wonder what will be left come next Monday?

Melina's dirty secret

I drink tap water.

There, I've said it.

Fellow tap water drinkers will enjoy this article from the Guardian UK:

Suckers for bottled water

When did we get the idea that without constant hydration we'll shrivel up and die? We need a campaign of humiliation to finally kill off the bottled water industry