literary ambition = apocalypse

I'm going to take myself off to the book store later today, in search of books about 1816. This was a year where temperatures fell so drastically, owing to a major volcanic eruption on the other side of the world, that hundreds of thousands starved because of crop failure.

While surfing for appropriate books, I happened upon a Smithsonian article about suspected apocalyptic events. Seems that even the Assyrians were not immune.

An Assyrian clay tablet dating to around 2800 B.C. bears the inscription: “Our Earth is degenerate in these later days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.”

The belief that an urge to write a book was a sure sign of a global shitstorm was pretty funny to me.  Even though my attempts to write books were never more than half-hearted, and haven't emerged for some time.

At least the 1816 volcano wasn't nearly as bad as Lake Toba, an eruption that's believed to have wiped out most living things on earth. But then Yellowstone Park contains the potential for a butt-kicker of a volcano that's expected every 600,000 years. Which isn't bad except that the Yellowstone caldera is technically 20,000 years or so behind schedule, according to some (but not all) geologists. Is Yogi Bear doomed?

Is your cat getting old and forgetful?

Print this out and post near the food bowl.

The snake who Twittered

Faithful readers may remember my secret desire to misbehave in similar fashion as Tony Soprano and Gloria Trillo; they're the couple who managed a knee-trembler in the reptile house of the zoo. This fantasy was temporarily back-burnered when the news broke that the resident cobra had gone walkabout.

During the snake's hiatus, some anonymous wit kindly set up a Twitter account for him.

Although I don't know if the true author of the Twitter account has been identified, I thought some of the resulting tweets were pretty funny. Here is a sampling (his location is “Not at the Bronx Zoo”).

Got a bagel at H & H Bagels on upper west side. When I ordered I said, “I’ll have the snakes on a PLAIN.” He did not laugh. Tough crowd.

Getting on the ferry to Ellis Island. Let’s hope this goes better than that time on the plane. #snakeonthetown

Getting my morning coffee at the Mudtruck. Don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee. Seriously, don’t. I’m venomous.

@peternbcnews Don’t turn around. I’m right behind you. Just kidding! lol!

Leaving Wall Street. These guys make my skin crawl.#snakeonthetown

Dear @CharlieSheen, know what’s better than tiger’s blood? Cobra venom. #winning #snakeonthetown Also I’m 20 inches long. Just sayin’.

Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!

What does it take to get a cab in this city?! It’s cause I’m not white isn’t it.

Anyone know if Rebecca Black lives in NYC? No reason.

@SteveMartinToGo Phone rings. Caller ID: Bronx Zoo. It’s the snake. Hard to hear. Lots of hissing on line.

A career first

Every week I compile and send out a newsletter to my colleagues in Underwriting and related departments. It's not a scintillating read, but it has all the latest RESPA and HMDA updates, training schedules, and similar. And I admit I tarted up the design a bit.

Today I'm drafting my first article about next week's possible government shutdown. It's too bad I can't say "We all get PTO (paid time off) until our leaders get it together, so let's head out to the ballpark", but then if it happens it'll certainly affect everyone. What remains to be seen is how it'll affect everyone.

some notes about passion

Lovers do not notice where they are, do not notice that they repeat themselves. It isn't repetition, anyway--it's reassurance. And when you're holding back and speaking in code, no conversation is boring, because the empty spaces are filled by your desires.