The snake who Twittered

Faithful readers may remember my secret desire to misbehave in similar fashion as Tony Soprano and Gloria Trillo; they're the couple who managed a knee-trembler in the reptile house of the zoo. This fantasy was temporarily back-burnered when the news broke that the resident cobra had gone walkabout.

During the snake's hiatus, some anonymous wit kindly set up a Twitter account for him.

Although I don't know if the true author of the Twitter account has been identified, I thought some of the resulting tweets were pretty funny. Here is a sampling (his location is “Not at the Bronx Zoo”).

Got a bagel at H & H Bagels on upper west side. When I ordered I said, “I’ll have the snakes on a PLAIN.” He did not laugh. Tough crowd.

Getting on the ferry to Ellis Island. Let’s hope this goes better than that time on the plane. #snakeonthetown

Getting my morning coffee at the Mudtruck. Don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee. Seriously, don’t. I’m venomous.

@peternbcnews Don’t turn around. I’m right behind you. Just kidding! lol!

Leaving Wall Street. These guys make my skin crawl.#snakeonthetown

Dear @CharlieSheen, know what’s better than tiger’s blood? Cobra venom. #winning #snakeonthetown Also I’m 20 inches long. Just sayin’.

Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!

What does it take to get a cab in this city?! It’s cause I’m not white isn’t it.

Anyone know if Rebecca Black lives in NYC? No reason.

@SteveMartinToGo Phone rings. Caller ID: Bronx Zoo. It’s the snake. Hard to hear. Lots of hissing on line.