Dare I believe it?

The Estranged Husband just sent me a text, informing me that he would be departing Chez Melina with his furniture, the Car from Hell, and his elderly dog this coming Thursday.

Does this mean I'll finally have Chez Melina to myself? Will I be able to wander around half-dressed, turn up the stereo to 190 decibels, and Have Boys Over any time I like? Will I never again be annoyed by certain refrigerated items, paper towels, my stash of Guatemalan coffee or my pricey shampoo disappearing?

I think I better change the locks sharpish before Rachel finds out and tries to camp out in my spare room again. This may seem churlish, but she's seriously worn out her welcome. I cannot understand why she thinks it's okay to trash other people's homes. And after confronting her regarding this issue, I suspect she doesn't understand it either.