the libertine springs forth

Perhaps it's because I slept especially well last night. Perhaps it's because I spent the weekend doing some of my favorite things, including some solitary and rewarding bird-watching. Or perhaps it's because there was no PD* at work today; she phoned in sick, and the weather was perfect for convertible owners. All in all, it was an enjoyable Monday.

Shaolin class was good; I was able to make the 6:00 class. My favorite instructor usually teaches this one, and he was in attendance today.  He is one of the toughest instructors, but I always leave with a sense of reward and accomplishment, even if I leave limping and with sore ankles.

My biker beau Ryan, excited because I'd passed my motorcycle course, wanted me to drive down to Austin last Friday night and go riding with him Saturday. But I decided against it, partly because I suspect he wants to buy me a motorcycle. During our last conversation, he quizzed me a bit too much about bike styles, seat heights, and peg placements.

It's a gift that is tempting but would also make me uncomfortable. The prospect of his presenting me with a shiny new bike made me feel like a cautious fish eying a particularly tasty bait, but with the large and shiny hook much too visible. Remember, this is a man who I've kissed a few times, but not gone any further with.

It's not like I think he expects me to sleep with him in exchange for a motorcycle. And I like him. But I'm not entirely sure how the gift would change the status of the relationship. Plus, I think he is looking for permanency, and I am not.

It's not like I have no capacity for affection, or for commitment. I never cheated on either husband when we were together. But I just can't see myself giving up my quest for passion and adventure this year.

My only slight concern is that I realized this afternoon that I have not heard from ODD* in a while. I hope he's well, and his mother is well. Perhaps he's simply given up quirky mistresses for Lent.

* See Key to Characters at right.