Back to the self-indulgent salt mine

Advertising agencies tend to irritate me the minute I walk in the door. The decor tries to hard to impress, and to tell visitors of the wonders of the agency's mission, talent, and other abilities. No matter which agency you're visiting, you'll always see lots of wide open spaces and overpriced minimalist furniture. The chairs are just to look at; if you sit down, you might get stuck.

More than a decade after I left my last ad agency job, I'm back in another agency. Thankfully it's just a contract job. I can fit in if I have to. But the same atmosphere that drew me in when I was in my early 20s doesn't have much to offer me these days. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I'm simply too cynical for it all.

Another reason to downsize at home

I really liked this article.

Business

But Will It Make You Happy?

By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM

Published: August 7, 2010

How you spend has a greater effect on your happiness than how much you spend, researchers say.

Another monument to tree slaughter

I spent most of this week avoiding the heat (I really need to move to Greenland) and completing sundry paperwork for one thing or another. Thursday was spent at an executive "boot camp" offered by the Texas Workforce Commission. It was better value than I expected, although the workbook was so full of typos that I spent my lunch hour marking it up for misspellings.

I also visited an ad agency and discussed a contract job. Seems the resident copywriters couldn't work well for the client as they thought they were boring.  Why do creatives still get away with this, even in these recessionary times?

Anyway, more work for me. The only irksome factor is that I'm always asked to complete a standard employment application. Which is what I'm doing now, in the cool comfort of a Starbucks.

I thought that the computer age would cut down on this sort of paperwork, but I'm beginning to think that it's actually increased it. I need to look around later for some reliable stats.

Since I didn't have the phone numbers for some past employers, I Googled them. One agency has an ouchy-painful Web site: the copy is reversed out (white on a dark background). Even worse, the background is always moving. I actually became a bit nauseous while copying down the address and phone number.

If you're curious, here's the site. Take your Dramamine first.

Melina feeds her lesser demons

Yesterday I drove past a billboard for Yamaha motorcycles. I liked the headline:

Feed Your Demons Without Going Hungry.

I put my frustrated libido on the back burner, set it to a low simmer, and opted for some lesser demon-feeding.  I got up at an appallingly early hour to rent a motorcycle.

Although I had reserved a style of bike, not a brand, I ended up with a Yamaha anyway. It was a little heavier than the Suzuki but no more difficult to ride. If anything, the extra weight seemed to make it a bit easier to balance. And since nobody was around to tell me to behave, I eventually found a deserted back road and took it up to around 70 mph for a couple of miles.

I took the bike back to the shop after about 2 1/2 hours, as it was simply too hot to ride any longer. The only armored jacket I have is designed for cooler weather, and even after I removed the liner and unzipped the vents I was still suffering. When I pulled off the jacket after the ride, my t-shirt was literally drenched with sweat. But I'm prepared for next time.

Just before I left the shop, I spotted a Vanson summer-weight jacket on the sale rack for just $49. There was just one left but it fit perfectly, so I snagged it. Usually these jackets are never discounted, and this one (made of mesh for summer riding, and a cheaper model) still goes for about $190 retail. It looks like this:

The young man behind the counter seemed embarrassed that the jacket's size tag said XL. He kept insisting that Vanson jackets ran really small. I finally said "Look, I don't care if the label says Fat Chick, it's a really nice jacket and I'm buying it." Thankfully he found my remark funny, as I regretted it right after I said it. I didn't want him to think I was some cranky old bitch.

Melina goes to the movies

Actually that should read Melina sits on her butt and watches STARZ.

After failing to convince anyone to see the movie Zombieland with me last fall, it finally made it to cable. And it was funnier than a Dallas City Hall meeting. 

I've watched it twice over the last week, which is extremely rare for me. Here's a list of the few other films I'll watch more than once (some movies, like Con Air, I watch repeated times because of their amusing awfulness):

• Dr. Strangelove
• Grosse Point Blank
• Con Air
• Days of Being Wild
• The first two Godfather films
• Beetlejuice
• A Better Tomorrow (or just about any other John Woo film with Chow Yun-Fat in it)
• Blazing Saddles
• Kill Bill Vol. 1

I won't go through the plot of Zombieland, as there really isn't much of one. Let's just say that if you're stuck in a post-apocalyptic America, be sure to take Woody Harrelson with you.

Here's a link to a nice HD trailer. Enjoy!