The rare gotta have it

Considering that I'm still working on reducing the clutter, unworn clothing, and similar at Chez Melina, I hardly ever buy anything these days that isn't edible or readable. Okay, the motorcycle doesn't fit into either category, but one has to deviate from the ordinary now and then.

Earlier today, a friend sent me a photo of a really cool porcelain tray. Although my dresser is already buried in similar tchotchkes, this one is seriously tempting. Even though I can't find it anywhere online for less than $50. 

Should I, or shouldn't I?

Need to park this somewhere before I forget

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche



Confessions of a former copywriter

After spending about 17 years in various advertising agencies and marketing departments, my current job doesn't require creativity. I'm actually thankful for this. Creativity is debatable, while policies and procedures generally aren't. 

However, my job must certainly appear boring to the outsider, so I'm not going to go on about it here. Instead, I'm going to burgle Drayton Bird's latest blog/Facebook entry. Mr. Bird was an Important PITA for Ogilvy and Mather for quite a while.

I met Mr. Bird in the 1980s, when I was fresh out of college and looking for that elusive Trainee Copywriter job. I was being interviewed at Ogilvy and Mather in London. I couldn't tell how the interview was going, and I don't think the interviewer could either.

This is when Mr. Bird  wandered into the interview room by mistake, obviously worse for wear after a long and gin-soaked lunch. He squinted down at me and said, "Who the fuck are you?"

Alas, I didn't get that job, but I never forgot Mr. Bird.

Anyway, herewith his latest:

“Don’t tell my mother I’m in advertising – she thinks I play the piano in a brothel"

Wednesday, 09 February 2011 at 07:24

I think that title, from Jacques Seguela, is the most entertaining of any book about advertising, closely followed by Jerry Della Femina’s “From those wonderful folks who gave you Pearl Harbor”.

But when I inveigled my way into the ad business, hardly anybody was interested in being a copywriter, because hardly nobody knew what a copywriter was and nobody cared. Indeed, one of my late friend the very talented Bill Jayme’s many good jokes was, “Have you ever been able satisfactorily to explain to your mother exactly what you do for a living?”

But I am stunned and shocked by how many people today either are copywriters or want to start on this self-destructive path, paved as it is with unspeakable horrors like Compliance Departments, Art Directors who think 50 words is long and clients who think any fool can write a letter - and proceed to give a live demonstration.

All that preamble leads me to an email I got two days ago from Johnny Cullen who said he was compiling a report called “What makes top copywriters tick (and why)?”

He excluded the obvious answer, which is "other writers". That made it a challenging question. Here is my reply – far less entertaining than the two titles above, but you may find it interesting. Since I was - as usual - too damn busy, I dashed it straight off and was surprised to see it made sense.

I am inspired by:

Desperation --- the knowledge that I HAVE to come up with something.

Fear --- that this time I will fail (and I sometimes do).

Fascination --- with new things and people. Every time I learn something new or meet someone interesting it makes me happy and starts me thinking.

Example --- whenever I see someone who does something well, even if don't have any skill in that area, it goads me on to do better. Years ago I saw a masterclass by Casals. I can't play any instrument, but that cheered me up no end.

Oddities --- I rejoice in them. Never stop looking out for them. They lead to interesting ideas, I suspect.

A sense of inferiority --- I think what I do has little merit, but at least I can try and do it well.

Fury --- it maddens me to see how many people settle for second or even third best. Why bother to live if you feel that way?

Since I wrote that list, three other things came to mind. I find going for a walk gives me ideas, as does the demon drink and its nasty aftermath, the hangover. I do not recommend the latter two courses; the evidence is in the picture on this page.

The joys of forced focus

My attention deficit problems seem to have abated somewhat since Monday evening. I think this is because I made it to last night's shaolin class. Besides learning new forms, the class went on for half an hour longer than usual.

I'm fairly sure that the reason why shaolin is beneficial to controlling ADD is that your mind has much more difficulty wandering during class. You always have plenty to concentrate on, especially as the advanced forms are more complex. For example, I'm now learning how to kick and punch others simultaneously. And if you're staring into space, the instructor will want to know why.

This also explains why I am also fond of other pursuits that work so well to focus the mind, like riding motorcycles, playing the piano and sex.  All of them chase away the squash-playing gremlins inside my head; maybe not all the way back to the Kremlin, but for long enough.  (Sex seems to work especially well.)

Channel surfing

I don't know if I should blame it on last week's cabin fever, or that I'm really tired of winter, but over the past few days I can't get any sort of grip on my ADD. I never considered it worth medicating, especially as I'd learned some methods to rein it in when needed. But over the weekend it was if I was playing a one-person game of raquetball inside my own head. I couldn't get to sleep last night as I couldn't turn off all the channels. And although I'm drowning in work, my lack of focus is not helping me. I don't know what to do.