A worthy timewaster

Created by Oatmeal

back-handed compliments

Yesterday, my immediate manager came to visit me. She had that deer in the headlight expression on her face, but since she had a pile of what was obviously work to give to me, I didnt' make the assumption that I was being fired again.

The news wasn't bad really, but then I like to be tied up occasionally as well.

Seems that I have been assigned to a project with mega-short deadlines - one that's been tossed around like a ticking bomb, as nobody else wanted to handle it any more. Instead of writing policies, I'll be writing underwriting procedures.  All of them. 

The only drawback is that I have about three weeks to finish the whole thing.

According to my manager, I was requested to be the lucky slob to write the procedures as I was considered "the strongest writer" in the department. (Does that come with more money?)

So I think my plan to cut back on caffeine is going to have to wait until April. Something else will have to go during Lent. Probably sex. Or sleep.

low-grade ennui

Although I have no facility for language - the only way I learned some Cantonese is after six months of total immersion - I still find it interesting that other languages have words with no English equivalent. One is the French word ennui, which translates to a mixture of weariness, discontent and boredom. Unfortunately there seems to be a bit of ennui going around, and I have it. There's a dash of frustration in the mix as well.

The frustration stems from the fact that I don't have a good reason for being dysthemic in the first place. I figured out how to work in html script without losing my temper, I don't lack for male attention, and my finances aren't bad. I've even been able to move some surplus cash into my savings recently.

But for the past couple of weeks,  I've hated getting out of bed in the morning, kept wearing the same dull outfits to work, and skipped some shaolin classes. I ate too many Girl Scout cookies last week and I didn't even get the motorcycle out last weekend. I just wanted to doze.

Astute readers may suspect I was disappointed with Valentine's Day. Although I ignore the holiday, generally preferring spontaneous displays of affection, I was very happy with the roses Ian* brought over. I realize I'm a washout as far as female expectations go - most want jewelry - but I really like receiving flowers. Besides, expensive gifts make me nervous.

Last night I had this odd dream about finding my friend Lauren's chickens in all of my closets. She recently built and populated a chicken coop in real-time. In the dream, I rounded them all up and returned them to her.  I found a couple of eggs in the house later.

Certainly I can solve this ennui thing on my own. But my inability to even manage an interesting dream during the last couple of weeks is beginning to worry me.

* See Key to Characters at right.

If the pay wasn't so sucky, I might consider it

Spotted this in the online version of the Guardian. Too bad my Arabic, French and Spanish all stink.

INTERPOL, the International Criminal Police Organization, is looking for a writer/editor to join its communications office based in Lyon, France. As our publications writer, you have the opportunity to shape and present our messages to both public and law enforcement audiences, promoting the services we provide to police and our activities in the fight against today’s international crimes.

You will be responsible for writing publications (such as brochures, fact sheets and our annual report), multimedia scripts for video clips and podcasts, and messages for our web/social media sites. You will also edit and advise on specialist law enforcement publications and work closely with our web editor and press office in ensuring a coherent message.

You will need excellent English writing skills, 5-10 years of relevant experience and a proven interest in international affairs. Knowledge of French, Spanish or Arabic is an asset.

This post is offered as a 3-year full-time contract, with flexible working hours and a salary starting at 40,000 EUR pa, according to experience.

Turn on, tune in, revolt

I spotted this little tidbit while reading the news over lunch:

(Reuters) - Muammar Gaddafi blamed a revolt against his rule on al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden on Thursday, and said the protesters were fueled by milk and Nescafe spiked with hallucinogenic drugs, in a rambling appeal for calm.

I'm beginning to think the Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya may actually be on his way out. Before today, I thought he'd probably be able to hang on, although with considerably fewer citizens to rule.