Where I was on 9/11

Since it is almost 20 years since the 9/11 attacks, there appears to be some upcoming media coverage planned. I don't plan to watch any of it. In the weeks after it happened, I saw enough filmed coverage of the World Trade Center to give me nightmares for a long time, which it did.

A few years ago, I went to the 9/11 Museum when visiting Ian* in New York. I quickly discovered why there were tissue dispensers in front of every exhibit. An exhibit of a destroyed fire truck (see pic below) was particularly upsetting to me as I couldn't stop thinking of firemen running up the stairs of the towers. 

While fighting any fire is a risk, I always wondered how many considered the possibility of the building collapsing. How many realized they might be running upstairs to the deaths?

There are an increasing number of people sharing where they were the morning of 9/11, how they first heard about it, and how those around them were affected. Everybody remembers the day clearly, and so do I.

I first heard of 9/11 when my friend Rachel called me. It was about 10 minutes after the first plane hit. I was still at home, getting ready to go to work. The first thing she told me was to turn on my TV. I still had a smallish Sony TV in my bedroom back then, so I switched it on to see the footage of the first plane hitting the tower.

I still feel guilty when I remember my first impression. I thought the plane was much smaller than it was. I told Rachel that it "looked like some small Cessna with an idiot inside". She was pretty sure I was wrong.

A few minutes later, my then-husband called. Being former NSA, he had figured it out immediately. We discussed what we would do if the planes were followed by dirty bombs, and if one hit Dallas. We eventually decided to head to an underpopulated county in far North Texas where two of our friends lived.

I couldn't decide what to do, so I drove to work. My office was only about three miles away from DFW Intl Airport. I listened to the radio reports during my 30-minute commute, and by the time I arrived, I knew the full extent of it. 

Nobody was working; instead, they all watched the TV monitors that were within every department. Usually these monitors kept track of stock and other markets, but today, it was nonstop 9/11 footage. I couldn't watch more than about 20 minutes, so I walked outside. But all commercial flights had been directed to land, and since DFW was a large regional airport, one could see literally eight to 12 planes landing or in holding patterns. It was like a big conga line in the sky (pilots stuck in holding patterns on the ground call them conga lines). 

I went back inside and the first building collapsed a few minutes later. A few people screamed, several burst into tears. Most simply stared at the TV monitors, like I did.

The CEO of the company eventually came on the PA system. He kept the message short, saying that anyone who wanted to go home could do so. He did add that if anyone blamed any Middle Eastern staffer for the attacks, they would be written up or fired. By then, there were dozens of people outside, watching the endless landings at the airport.

By around 12:30, another announcement was made that sent everyone home.