Hang on while I overthink this

In case you have not already guessed, the chats between myself and Cincinnati* have quickly returned to what they were like before I visited him a year ago. 

At first our chats were hesitant. I was careful not to be online that often as I didn't want to appear to be waiting around for him, and I still feel that these relationships are one-dimensional at best. Then one day he casually asked if I had purchased any new corsets lately.

It didn't take long for us to begin discussing lingerie and stockings, and how he would like to assist me with putting them on. After the first chat he half-apologized for being forward, but I pointed out that I would have stopped him if I hadn't been comfortable. So he's proceeded to describing what he'd like to do in the shower with me.

I should point out that he never talks about actual sex; just the removal of lingerie.

We're back to talking almost every day on Messenger. He's sent me links to lingerie he likes, wanting my opinion, and I've given it. And he's talked of eventually getting together and doing what we're talking about.

I did bring up the subject of how he'd told me how I'd played with his feelings during 2014-2017. I apologized but I also gave him a realistic version of how painful it had been to lose my house, and to be unemployed for so long, and to watch my mother fade and die. But I didn't talk about my ongoing problems with online relationships, hopeful coward that I am.

Renewing the relationship with Cincinnati was what I hoped for during most of this year, but I can't forget how badly last year's visit went. So I'm keeping busy with other things while I wait out the holiday season and its lack of job leads.

*see The Usual Suspects.