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fret reduction

Recently I realized I've spent an awful lot of time fretting over the past few months. I haven't been able to further reduce the cat population or save additional money for buying another house. The Cub* has not visited my neck of the woods for a while. I've not been able to lose much weight or lower my cholesterol (although my doc recently informed me that I lost nine pounds since my last visit. WTF?).

I am yet still waiting to hear about a raise at work, although if I had read all HR emails I would have seen they would not be announced until May because they kindly bumped the minimum pay hike from 2% to 3%. 

But my final visit to my therapist (who didn't retire - she was moved to another part of the hospital system) was well worth the hour invested and $20 copay. I decided to quit fretting about a lot of stuff. I mean, why worry about saving money for a house when the market is not a buyer's market? Especially when I have rent-free accommodation? It's a bit like That 70's Show but it's comfortable, especially since I ripped the carpet out of the bathroom. 

Regarding the Cub, I realized I haven't been fretting. I miss him, but I bear no ill will toward him as he has been honest about things. I suppose it sounds ironic to discuss honesty within an adulterous situation, but marriage itself seems to contribute to so much dishonesty.

I haven't yet felt compelled to seek out a replacement which is frankly a relief. Historically, it's been so difficult for me to find a suitable candidate. It's not so much pickiness as lack of interesting men. And if and when I eventually manage to find someone interesting, there's the additional, vital element - mutual chemistry/lust - that may or may not appear. 

So I'm going to concentrate on more yoga, more reading, better sleep hygiene and less pursuit of the erotic. And I am still hoping to take the Amtrak Zephyr across the West - it runs between Chicago and San Francisco - before funding is cut.

* See The Usual Suspects.


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