The Usual Suspects

• Melina: Author of this uneven, often pointless journal. Pale, clumsy writer. Considers herself to be living a particularly fortunate life, to quote A.B. Facey. More about her in the About Me section, if you must.
• Reed: New for 2021. A former military nuclear scientist, now working for the federal government. He is tall, brawny, wide and with wonderful silver hair, 11 years younger than Mel. He spotted her on a dating site and knew the meaning of the small leather cuffs she wore. He comes to Melina's town once a month on average, although he has arranged other trysts. He has a strange open marriage to a bisexual woman that Melina can't get quite used to.
• Eric: New as of February 2020. A mechanic turned elementary school teacher who reminds Melina a bit of OOD*, except not quite as tall. However, he disappeared when COVID appeared. 
• Ian: a tall builder from upstate Noo York. Formerly Melina's official boyfriend although he has largely ignored her the last year, and Melina has told him she will move out of his house when possible. In late 2015, his company sent him to New York so Melina moved into his house. (she departed in 2019 for Tennessee after finding a lodger/house-sitter.) As of 2021, Ian is working in New Jersey and asking Mel to visit.
• Cincinnati: a Catholic cycling fanatic who flirted with Melina from 2010 onwards through Facebook. A 2014 dinner resulted in a single kiss that Melina still remembers, and he told her he wanted a life together. But the relationship never took off.  After years of backing and forthing, promising to plan weekends together, but never delivering, Mel finally musters up the spine to deliver a final goodbye to Cincinnati in April 2021...but it wasn't final. UPDATE JUNE 2023: Cincinnati actually showed up for a platonic overnight visit in June 2023. 
• The Cub, aka Darren: A blue-eyed, married IT consultant, some eight years younger than Melina. He described himself as her Cub (which Mel eventually warmed upto) until his business trips to Melina's city ended. Melina misses him as the sex was particularly good. UPDATE APRIL 2021: Darren re-appears, spends a night of passion with Melina in nearby Memphis.
• Freddie: A sweet and bespectacled CPA. Melina had come to the conclusion that he was only interested in flirtatious emails, but an initial luncheon in early 2016 turned into six hours of mischief. Other office trysts followed.
• Nick: Another Ashley Madison acquisition. Tall, 60ish, and actually makes a good living playing solo guitar and with a jazz trio. Initially intimidating, but he lightened up. A short, pleasant affair followed, combined with guitar lessons, until he decided to attempt to repair his marriage as of May 2016.
• James: Initiallly, an excellent adulterous acquisition - or so Melina thought. A 60ish CPA and an incredibly good kisser. After two meetings in January 2016, various events transpired to put what seemed a permanent spanner in the relationship. But he resurfaced in 2017 and actually made a connection with Melina in 2018 before disappearing again.
• Daniel: A retired Naval captain, now a financial planner, compliance officer and devout Anglican. Attractive blue eyes and silver hair, but strangely uninterested in sex. His relationship with Melina is over, although he sometimes emails her. UPDATE 2023: Daniel met someone at graduate school that was fine with a sexless relationship. He married her a few months ago.
• John Savelle: Some decades ago, before her first marriage, Melina saw John at a party in Hong Kong and fell in love at first sight. A year-long affair finally ensued, only to have an agonizing breakup. But thanks to the internet they've recently reconnected. Both are greying; John is retired. As of December 2019, Melina is worried as John admitted some hospital visits/surgery/etc. He wan't say the C word but Mel fears he was, or is, suffering from it. UPDATE 2021: John writes Melina regularly, and finally admits he regrets not leaving the wife for her in 1990, and still feels regret.
• Obscure Object of Desire: A tall (6'6"), greying, wolfish banker who Melina found fascinatingly attractive upon meeting him in 2008. They eventually shared some rare but mega hot sex. Then the laptop disaster happened and he began to behave badly toward Melina. Now he is a semi-pleasant memory; ultimately a coward. And of October 2016, a dreadfully overweight coward.
• West Point: They don't come any taller, blonder, or WASP-ier than this Senior VP at the Death Star (Melina's employer until early 2014). A big fan of Melina's newsletter skills. Updated May 2014: West Point has departed the Death Star for another lender.
• Melina's mother: Departed this earth in January 2018. A 83-year old survivor of the Great Depression, an alcoholic father, and loss of Melina's father at 44. Fell and broke her hip February 2014, returned home, only to go into a nursing home in early 2016. Melina wanted to bring her mother home but could not provide the necessary 24/7 care, so she moved her mom into a nearby nursing home. She lost her mother to a combination of pneumonia and cancer in January 2018.
• Rachel: Melina's girlfriend. A sad, overweight, damaged cat lady who has learned that no good deed goes unpunished. Now semi-employed, although she has been provided with a home.
• Ted: After repairing Mel's ancient air conditioning system for over a decade, always on his best behavior, a sudden bout of misbehavior occurred during the summer of 2013. Stopped by Mel's place for some PG-rated snogging in mid-2013. Greying, wiry and scarred, due to a lifelong addiction to dirt bikes. Retired in 2017.
• Neil: A data warehousing guru and a past lover circa 2000. Occasionally he still tells Melina he adores her, although from the safety of New Mexico. Can tell Jewish jokes for hours. Addicted to Twitter.
• Elizabeth: Melina's doctor friend who went through a long, expensive bitter divorce with Nerdy Doctor. A Highland Park native so the friendship is limited, although they discuss things that are non-cat related - something Melina misses.
• Nerdy Doctor: Local oncologist, formerly married to Melina's friend Elizabeth. Throws great Halloween parties. Showed interest in Melina in mid-2011, but she decided to pass. But he reappeared in October 2014 and sent her a LinkedIn invitation.
• David: Melina's first husband. Some 23 years older than her and very English, due to his years in an all-boys boarding school. Melina's longest relationship; it began when she was 21 and ended when she was in her mid-30s. Succumbed to liver cancer in 2006.
• Ryan: Melina's former biker beau in Austin. Relationship now permanently over due to his reactionary temper tantrum and consequent name-calling. Melina feeling vastly relieved she did not pursue relationship.
• E.H., or Ex Husband: Married to Melina from 2001 to 2012, although the marriage unofficially ended with his departure in 2007. They see each other infrequently but get along. E.H. was especially kind to Melina during her months of unemployment in 2014. As of November 2019, they correspond daily. EH stopped by Mel's place in Tennessee in August for the night while on his way to Cleveland and his aging dad.
• Poison Dwarf, or PD: Melina's ex-manager, circa 2009. Small, stupid, empire-building; was instrumental in firing Melina in 2010. Reaped speedy karma in 2010-2012, as Melina was rehired four months after PD fired her, and assigned her the occasional design job.
• Tubby Dwarf, or TD: Poison Dwarf's ex-manager. Finally managed to fire Melina in June 2010, although the company rehired Melina in October 2010 at a higher salary. Obese and mean-spirited
• Dismissed Date: Formerly Delightful Date (see below). Now teaching high school physics, and married to a woman with no fewer than four failed marriages behind her.
• Delightful Date (DD): Melina's ex-lover circa 2008; a photographer then, but now a high school physics teacher now. Recently (2016) grew a scary white beard and long white hair in true Nutty Professor style. Morphed into Dismissed Date in 2010.