It's not a gang, it's a club.

We really didn't make much of a club, either, but whatever.

Since the New Year's Day weather forecast for Austin looked conducive to biking, I decided to escape my neighbor's endlessly barking dogs (the fireworks drive them crazy) and head south for New Year's. After a mercifully short New Year's Eve bar crawl, we gathered at Fay's restaurant off Guadalupe the next morning.

Even though his restaurant is a humble Chinese place that caters to UT students, Fay is quite the motorcycle fanatic, owning no less than five bikes including two BMWs and a Ducati. I was on Ryan's Suzuki which is almost identical to mine, and Ryan had brought out his big bad BMW K1200.

We headed southwest out of the city, going through minute towns like Fischer, Wimberley and Canyon Springs. Sections of Ranch to Market Road 32 near Canyon Springs are popular with motorcyclists looking for a safe venue for a spirited ride, as it's scenic and with practically no side roads (rural drivers generally pull out onto the paved roads without looking).

I rode somewhat slower than usual because I was on a borrowed bike, and the others weren't sure if I was comfortable going 80 and 90 mph. Eventually I insisted on a solo coffee break in Wimberley, so the other three could indulge in some male bonding and taking their higher-powered bikes up over 100 mph.

Everyone was careful not to head down the Fredricksburg/Luckenbach road, as it has a bridge that's notorious for causing bike spills (see below). The water is shallow, but the bridge itself is algae-covered and slimy. Ryan dropped his beloved K1200 into the creek here earlier this year and has never been the same since, even though his bike suffered minor damage.

Off to burn a Viking ship or two

This is because this is how Edinburgh-based Scots celebrate New Year's, aka Hogmanay.

Back at Chez Melina some time Sunday.

My last cynical comment about marriage. (Until next year.)

While checking the news to see what the weather would be like Friday - I'm still trying to decide whether to stay home or head to Austin for New Year's - I spotted an article about the actor Kelsey Grammer. I used to watch Frasier, although I usually found his on-screen brother and father funnier than he.

Anyway, seems that Kelsey has dumped one young, skinny blonde to marry another, younger, skinnier, blonder blonde. Here is why he is dying to make that fateful trip down the aisle for the fourth time:

"Kayte and I are marrying because we are in love and we see no reason to postpone our happiness any longer. End of story," he told E! News via his rep.

Considering how his other marriages ended, does he really think that holding off a while will postpone his happiness? It strikes me as a strange remark; I can't decide what's going on. It's not like his betrothed is saving it for the wedding night, and besides, he's marrying a near carbon copy of Wife #3. Perhaps Grammer has some hidden insecurities about his relationships with women. And considering how many family members he lost earlier in life (his father and sister both met horrible ends), perhaps I should cut him some slack.

One thing's for sure - he ought to give more thought about his relationship with money. He keeps getting divorced but never bothers with a pre-nup.

Partners in crime

One of my friends who is also anti-marriage - although for different reasons than mine - sent me his explanation for avoiding a second marriage. This is an excerpt:

We think a relationship will help us be who we are, and yet to preserve the relationship we end up lying about who we are.  You long for some adventure, some passion, something that you can't fabricate; yet we feel it must be kept secret because it threatens what you have.

When I was composing my answer, I considered his last observation - "it threatens what you have". What do you have as a married person that you don't have as a single person?  

I've made several comparative lists today. While nothing's been compelling enough to change my mind about the institution of marriage, I'm beginning to understand why so many people prefer it. It reminded me of after I broke up with my first husband. Afterwards, I joked that he got custody of all the friends, and I got custody of the cat. I never understood why he felt he had to vilify me. But he hated to drink alone.

Ready to bite again

After about two months of doctor visits, specialist consultations, dental x-rays, threats of more Botox, an extracted tooth and two replaced crowns, I think my face has finally stopped hurting.

The problem goes back several years. It started with some horrid, unpredictable facial pain one night that felt like Laurence Olivier had snuck up on me and jabbed a dental drill into one of my upper left teeth. I still remember this night as I was still married, and I wasn't able to explain to my confused and concerned husband what was going on. All I could do was cry.

This got me into the dentist early the next day. But after several sets of x-rays later, he couldn't find anything wrong. This didn't stop me from eventually bullying him into removing an upper back molar, as I was convinced it was the source of the pain. I was mistaken.

Next I returned to my brilliant endodontist, who took another set of x-rays and referred me on to a neurologist. He ran lots of tests, diagnosed a fair-to-middling case of tic doloureaux, and injected Botox directly into a facial nerve. This cured 90% of the pain for almost two years, but then it returned like a psychotic ex-boyfriend a couple of months ago. This time it hasn't been as bad, and it was different. More like a combined toothache and migraine. 

However, this time it wasn't trigeminal neuralgia. It was thankfully simple: my bite had become misaligned, and my habit of clenching my teeth while I slept was the cause of the new attacks. My dentist removed the other upper molar to even things out (this wasn't fun, as the roots had somehow grown into my upper jaw) and replaced two crowns that I'd damaged over the past years. I looked so ghastly after the extraction that I was literally sent home from kung fu class the next day.

The only down side to all this is that I should really wear a mouth guard when I sleep, but they're utterly foul, especially when you wake up and have to yank it out. But I was able to make a Mouth Guard Lite out of a dental bleaching tray a few years back. It wasn't nearly as bothersome and held up for about four months.