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state of confusion

I apologize to my faithful (albeit misguided) readers for not posting recently. But situations that I usually managed to handle haven't been really in my grasp lately. And I think my relationship with Ian* is ending.

The reason I think my relationship is ending is that Ian doesn't seem interested in speaking to me any more, or even sending the occasional email.  I hear from him rarely, so I haven't been totally ghosted, although it feels that way. I don't think he's found a replacement for me - I think he's just not interested. 

This makes me sad, but it also made me look at the housing situation differently. Ian is someone who is paying about $1,000 a month for my current home, and I am thinking this doesn't make a lot of sense, especially since his wife will want at least 50% of the proceeds when he sells the place.

He has stopped job-hunting and seems resigned to the status quo, and since the airport looks like a nine-year project, he won't ever need another job as long as he stays where he is now. The blowup with his daughter went away without discussion, as Ian admitted she had asked him for money a few days ago. 

Work-wise I am feeling burned out and in need of a vacation, but can't see that happening for at least a couple of months. I still hope to do a cross-country Amtrak trip while they're still available but the one I want to do would cost me about $1,000, even if I wait for the autumn off-season.

I have not seen or heard from the Cub* in quite a while. I'm assuming he has no reason to visit Dallas these days and although we were both well-aware his business here would end, I'm still wishing he'd think up an excuse to visit. But the silence from his end tells me all I need to know.

The news isn't 100% bad though, as I have found a better place for my mother that's only 4 miles from my house. I'm hoping my brothers will assist me with the actual move, which won't start until I say so, but I am thinking they'll be "too busy" or otherwise.

It's about 6.30 here in Texas so it's 7.30 in NY. I just tried to call Ian but both of his phones are switched off. 

* see The Usual Suspects.

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