Although I have no facility for language - the only way I learned some Cantonese is after six months of total immersion - I still find it interesting that other languages have words with no English equivalent. One is the French word ennui, which translates to a mixture of weariness, discontent and boredom. Unfortunately there seems to be a bit of ennui going around, and I have it. There's a dash of frustration in the mix as well.
The frustration stems from the fact that I don't have a good reason for being dysthemic in the first place. I figured out how to work in html script without losing my temper, I don't lack for male attention, and my finances aren't bad. I've even been able to move some surplus cash into my savings recently.
But for the past couple of weeks, I've hated getting out of bed in the morning, kept wearing the same dull outfits to work, and skipped some shaolin classes. I ate too many Girl Scout cookies last week and I didn't even get the motorcycle out last weekend. I just wanted to doze.
Astute readers may suspect I was disappointed with Valentine's Day. Although I ignore the holiday, generally preferring spontaneous displays of affection, I was very happy with the roses Ian* brought over. I realize I'm a washout as far as female expectations go - most want jewelry - but I really like receiving flowers. Besides, expensive gifts make me nervous.
Last night I had this odd dream about finding my friend Lauren's chickens in all of my closets. She recently built and populated a chicken coop in real-time. In the dream, I rounded them all up and returned them to her. I found a couple of eggs in the house later.
Certainly I can solve this ennui thing on my own. But my inability to even manage an interesting dream during the last couple of weeks is beginning to worry me.
* See Key to Characters at right.